Allison Smith:
[crying]
[bell ringing]
To Market! To Market!
The Cries of San Francisco!
Where are your wares?
Announcements! Announcements!
Images! Images!
I’ve got plenty!
One for twenty!
Dominic Santos and Kayla Bearg:
Hand Dyed Cotton Totes For Stealing: Vegetables, Fresh Fruits, Dried Fruits, Dope, Flowers, Flour,
FOR STEALING: Newspaper, Lined Paper, Graph Paper, Rolling Paper, Toilet Paper, Paper Planes,
FOR STEALING: Booze, Books, Magazines, CDs, Records, Radios, Music Players, Cassette Players, Cassette Tapes, Video Tapes, Masking Tape, Measuring Tape,
FOR STEALING: Keys, Wallets, Leashes, Rubber Band Balls, Baseballs, Tennis Balls, Bouncy Balls, Fortune Cookies, Headphones, Smart Phones, Suck Phones,
FOR STEALING: Spray Cans, Canned Goods, Coconuts, Coconut Water, Secrets, Ideas, Film, Cameras, Lenses,
FOR STEALING: Sunglasses, Sunscreen, Lip Balm, Makeup, Paints, Brushes, Combs, Beauty Products, Ugly Products, Movie Tickets, Concert Tickets, Flags, Chopsticks, Matchsticks,
FOR STEALING: Pencils, Pens, Stink Bombs, Smoke Bombs, Bandanas, Bananas, Surf Wax, Swimwear, Underwear, Socks, Condoms, Friendship Bracelets, Gloves,
FOR STEALING: Cups, Bowls, Honey, Teas, Dim Sum, Rope, String, Cheese, Crystals, Rocks, Foil, Beads, Bread, Coins, Change, Clothes, Locks, Lockets, Jewelry,
FOR STEALING: Helmets, Knee Pads, Note Pads, Maxi Pads, Diapers, Baby Bottles, Flashlights, Wigs, Disguises, Coffee Beans, Pills, Potions, Vitamins, Jars, Bottles, Recyclables,
FOR STEALING: Letters, Cards, Credit Cards, Playing Cards, Greeting Cards, , Postcards, Soap, Soil, Cookies, Pies, Plants, Frisbees, Candles, Clay, Cardigans,
FOR STEALING: Shells, Yogurt, Boomerangs, Spices, Herbs, Sage, Games, Maps, Tools, First Aids, Weapons, Umbrellas, Wine, Blankets,
FOR STEALING: Action Figures, Slingshots, Tambourines, Spoons, Crackers, Grains, Kombucha, Agua, Burritos, Jams, Pickles, Seeds, Chips, Nuts, Nifty Thrifty Treasures, And More!
Jeremiah Jenkins:
This is Support Services, $5!
Buy one for support, buy two for extra support, buy three for group support!
Thank you for holding on, you are very important to me, your call will be answered shortly!
Maja Ruznic:
Come and tell me
Your sad stories
I will paint them away
Come and tell me your
Bad stories
I will paint them away.
Kathryn Lynn Shearman:
Take a walk, little darling through the songbook with me.
There’s a cold wind a-blowin’ and I know you’ll find glee.
If you lift up your voices, join me in song.
All the words are before you, the harmony is waiting for us to sing along.
Ana Fernandez:
Poemas de Amor! Cartas de Recomendación! Venga y lleve una, escríbale a su amor, no se quede sin su carta que todas son del Corazon!
No sea tímido, no se deje llevar, que su amor lo esta esperando para llegar al altar!
For the job you always wanted for the love you always long! Get a letter or poem before its forever gone!
Come by to get it, come by right here, you will not be disappointed; you will be happy and sweet. Letters of Recommendation also if you need!
Poemas de Amor! Cartas de Recomendación! Venga y lleve una, escríbale a su amor, no se quede sin su carta que todas son del Corazon!
If you want to be remembered if you want to be forgiven give a little poem it will make a lovely givin!
Poems of Love, Poems of Love, who wants a little poem, with a little poise?!
Venga señora, venga señorita, venga caballero, llevese su poema o su recomendación para que le den trabajo o ella le de su amor!!
Amy Keefer:
“Alchem-Amy! Alchem-Amy!
Super sweet smelling gold soap…
For health, wealth
Longevity and hope.
Mined in California,
Seven dollars a brick
No snake oil, no tricks!!”
Larisa Minerva:
Take care!
Take care!
Let’s all be aware,
The school for practicing care!
Jamie Venci:
Hop, step, turn, stop, look, jump, right, left, right: Instructions for dances.
Anandamayi Arnold:
Balloons for sale!
Balloons for sale!
Lighter than air!
Balloons for sale!
Ballons ici!
Ici ballons!
Eduardo Valadez:
Adelante, adelante!
La ciudad e dura hermanos
No tomen esta envitacíon en vano
Arimense a don Fortuna.
Tengo las cartas, tomen una!
Times are hard
And this city’s rough,
Step right up and take a card!
Jonathan Hernando:
Superbuffet, Superbuffet!
Any kind of water, juice, soda pop!
Come over to the Superbuffet!
Fruits, veggie, chicken, eggs!
Superbuffet! Superbuffet!
Tiffany Zeng:
[Shake, shake,
Rain stick,
Plucking noise,
Shaking]
Veronica Graham:
Masks!... I have masks, everyone
To dazzle… conceal… disguise.
Hide away in plain site and do it in style.
Lose yourself on the sidewalks of Market St,
at the Ferry Building,
and in Mint Plaza.
Blend into your surroundings in stealthy fashion.
Sonya Alexandra:
My wounded warriors!
Come get your healing powder!
Alleviate your battle scars!
Paris Malone:
I am your savior,
Anubis,
Beautiful Beast!
Bryce Gorgolon and Maddie Fried:
From the depths of the fourth dimension, arising from the techno-ashes of the Roswell crash, we bring you the wealth of history: relics of the past, present, and future—however flawed those concepts may be.
Maria De Los Angeles Burr:
The unsell-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-ble.
The unsell-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-ble.
The unsell-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-ble.
Javier Gutierrez:
Piñatas! Pinhole piñatas!
Nathaniel Parsons:
One walking call:
I DON’T HAVE TO BE BEHAVE
I JUST GOTTA BE BRAVE
Or
YOU DON’T HAVE TO BEHAVE
YOU JUST GOTTA BE BRAVE
Song for Visitor:
BETTER, BETTER YOU ARE BETTER
NEWER, NEWER YOU ARE NEWER
BRIGHTER, BRIGHTER YOU ARE BRIGHTER
STRONGER, STRONGER YOU ARE STRONGER
REALER, REALER YOU ARE REALER
Or:
BETTER, BETTER ¬¬¬_your name_ IS BETTER
NEWER, NEWER ¬¬¬_your name_ IS NEWER
BRIGHTER, BRIGHTER ¬¬¬_your name_ IS BRIGHTER
STRONGER, STRONGER ¬¬¬_your name_ IS STRONGER
REALER, REALER ¬¬¬_your name_ IS REALER
Imin Yeh:
Hey, is that real?!
Fresh seals of authenticity with triple the value.
Fresh off the presses!
Urban Gods to order!
Peter Max Lawrence:
Drawings, drawings everywhere
And not a pen to ink.
Art, art everywhere
And not a thought to think.
Diala Khasawnih:
Geography, history, family, royalty of Jordan. True or fiction?
Sarah Matik:
Souvenirs! City maps!
Free yourself from the tourist traps!
Lea Redmond:
Seeds, heirloom seeds.
Grown for generations.
Open pollination.
Seeds, heirloom seeds.
Grown, threshed and winnowed.
Ready to be sown.
Seeds, heirloom seeds.
Preserve diversity.
Right here in the city.
Seeds, heirloom seeds.
Dilcia Giron/Ana Efanova:
Dreams, Sueños
For sale or for exchange
As absurd as you might like
As bizarre as you can make.
Sueños, Dreams
Open your eyes, and see
Close your eyes and dream
Open your heart and create
Precious dreams delights.
Erik Bakke:
(spoken gently)
Hey there, hello, hi,
You can own your favorite bad word.
It’s free.
It’s free and safe.
Expletive? Insult? Slur? Other hurtful word?
Yours in just minutes.
It’s free.
Tell me a bad word; I’ll make it yours.
(spoken loudly and warmly)
Lovers:
Help get trashy language off the streets.
Lovers, own the repulsive, damaging lingo ruining our culture. Lovers, own, hogtie and sequester those loose, hurtful words whose wild ramblings keep you up at night.
(spoken loudly with a punk-rock cadence)
Haters:
Bigots, homophobes, racists, sexists,
Now, today,
Own your hateful speech.
Insult,
Own it;
Ethnic slur,
Own it;
Sexist remark,
Own it;
Homophobic trash talk,
Own it;
Bigoted gibe,
Own it;
Ageist slight,
Own it now.
(REPEAT FROM TOP)
Linda Trunzo:
ALL LIVE!
ALL LIVE!
OLIVES!
ALL LIVE!
FOR PEACE AND FREEDOM!
BAHRAIN
TRIPOLI
SYRIA
CAIRO
ALL LIVE!
ALL LIVE!
OLIVES!
ALL LIVE!
FOR PEACE AND FREEDOM!
BAHRAIN
TRIPOLI
SYRIA
CAIRO
Heal
Amaze
Inspire
Nourish
ALL LIVE!
OLIVES!
Torreya Cummings:
Ladies and gentlemen, Step right up!
Ah, Step right up.
Sir, or Madam, as the case may be,
Times are dark, are dark indeed!
But we can help brighten the darkness, Friends.
Add a little sparkle to your countenance and wet your whistle.
They say you don’t miss the water ‘til your well runs dry, and you’re looking might thirsty, Friend. Remember when pure clean water came right out of the tap in your house? Remember the days before Consolidated Sodapop bought the rights to all the rain? We have a source, ladies and gentlemen, members of the press, a source deep below these streets of pure! clean! fresh! water. A modest convenience charge plus cost, and a bottle of it can be yours.
Well now, Friend, let’s talk about transportation. That’s right, folks, the old A to B. Didn’t think much of it, in the old days. Well, that was then. You say your mule up and died, the horse-share isn’t working out, and while biodiesel is a nickel a liter, you have one of those old-fashioned automobiles that run on GAS-O-LEEN. Very hard to find these days, is gasoline, you say. Well! I have enough in this gallon jug here to get you and your jalopy all the way across town and back. How much, how much is the precious liquid worth to you?
But Friends! That’s not all. We have tractor parts for your sidewalk reclamation garden project! Actual vintage tobacco! Crystallized white sugar! Healthful chocolate substitute got you down? We have brand-name candy bars. Wonder of wonders, we have a few ball point pens left. And how about some pre-revolution glitter for the disco emergency! And if we don’t have it, we can probably get it. Just ask! And don’t forget, Friends! Tell ‘em you got it at Slim’s!
shiloh burton:
[GIA_TExt Recording.doc] formatted as is in doc. Size of font can be condensed, or made into a block of text cleared of formatting if it’s still big. If it’s too long, cut out the middle, but not the beginning or the end.
Pete Hickok:
The world is a complicated place and existence these days is near impossible without negative environmental and social consequences. Here at OffsetLife I strive to counteract all of the negative impacts your life has on the environment, society, and your loved ones. It's time to stop feeling powerless and guilty about your life decisions. Let me help turn your negative actions into positive ones. Take control of your life. Join forces with me and I'll set your record straight.
Jenifer Kaufman:
“The art of losing isn’t hard to master;
Practice losing farther losing faster”
-Elizabeth Bishop
Angela Hernandez:
I am going to make snow globes. Snow quotes from gorgeous and Angels and Demons. I dance and sing “I am giving out books!” “Get your free quotes too!” They’ll be happy when they figure out the quote.
Christian Fernandez:
Fifteen minutes! What would you do for fifteen minutes?!
Jeremiah Rushing:
YEAH, YEAH. I GOT EVERYTHING YOU NEED RIGHT HERE.
Ashley Weiss:
Laughter! Laughter!
Has healing power
To open your heart
Like a blooming flower
Essence Alexander:
I am the goddess of life
Binta Ayofemi:
This work in response to the Arab spring and recent events in the Middle East and North Africa. I combined contemporary Arab pop music, as well as 1970s pre-revolution Iranian music.
Colin and Cole:
[Colin] Step right up,
get a disguise!
You’re in for an interesting surprise.
[Cole] Get’em from these two guys.
We’ve got beards, sunglasses, headdresses and more.
[Colin] Do you have an over-due book, or have made a promise to cook?
Need to hide from your teacher or escape into a nook?
[Cole] Have a video late fee or feel the need to flee?
No problem!
[Colin] We can make you look older or even younger.
Yes sir, just get a costume…
[Together] From the Masters of Disguise!
Celena Peet:
Women, tell me what ails you! A cure for what ails you.
Mrs. Reynolds’ Balsam and Honey, the cure for what ails you!
Depression, hysteria, weak constitution?
Mrs. Reynolds’, the cure for what ails you! Only five dollars!
Art for a Democratic Society:
Class War Store…Must haves for the have-nots!
Class War Store…Your collective bargaining market!
Class War Store…Buy your piece of the American nightmare!
Soapbox store for the working poor!
Class War Store…Wares for the American nightmare!
Class War Store…Survive the depression. Supply your protestors!
Class War Store…Fight the oppression. Supply your protestors!
Make your own megaphone…MAKE YOUR OWN MEGAPHONE!
Class War Store…overstock for the underprivileged!
Hey hey! Ho ho! This wheat paste mix has got to go!
Hey hey! Ho ho! These megaphones have got to go!
Hey hey! Ho ho! These picket signs have got to go!
Hey hey! Ho ho! These CEO’s have got to go!
Buy and buy, our supplies.
Pie in the sky is overpriced.
Don’t be shy, sit and lie.
You’ll please Naomi Klein when you buy.
Maggie Lawson:
[Whistling to Hi Ho Hi Ho from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves]
Ethan Rafal:
EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT!
AHMAD MASSOUD WARNS AL QAEDA AND TALIBAN PREPARING FOR IMMINENT ATTACK ON US SOIL! - GOVERNMENT YAWNS AS COLIN POWELL DELIVERS 43 MILLION TO KABUL
EXTRA EXTRA!
BUSH ORDERS WAR ON IRAQ! LIBERALS APOLOGIZE PROFUSELY! FRAT BOYS PARTY AS COUNTRY WATCHES LIVE!
EXTRA EXTRA!
YOUTH DISAFFECTED: CALL WAR ILLEGAL - CHORUS BOOS, IF YOU CAN'T BEAT EM!' JOIN EM!' HIPSTERS GROWING LIKE WEEDS! WINKING INAUTHENTICITY EVERYWHERE! DEAFENING SILENCE! DRUGS, DRUGS, DRUGS!
EXTRA EXTRA!
86 KILLED IN SUICIDE BOMBING! 112 KILLED IN CAR BOMBING! 200 OR MORE KILLED IN MARKET BOMBING! ALMOST 50 KILLED. 157 KILLED. 33 KILLED. 1 KILLED.
EXTRA EXTRA!
US STRUGGLES TO DROWN OUT SOUND OF TORTURE - DOCTORS RECOMMEND VALIUM, ALCOHOL, AND HEROIN
EXTRA EXTRA!
VETERAN STRUGGLES TO COPE BUT FINALLY LOSES. LAST SEEN WITH COMBAT BOOTS, FATIGUES, CRACKPIPE, AND KITTEN
EXTRA EXTRA!
HOUSING MARKETS COLLAPSE! POOR AND WORKING CLASS ANNHILATED! BANKERS WONDER IF THEY SHOULD STOP THE PARTY! GOVERNORS WONDER HOW TO BLAME THE UNIONS! A LONE COMMUNIST WONDERS: IS THIS THE GLOBAL ECONOMIC COLLAPSE WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR?
EXTRA EXTRA!
OBAMA BECOMES PRESIDENT AND WINS PEACE PRIZE. ORWELL ROLLS IN GRAVE. LIBERALS ADMIT EMPIRE A SHADE MORE PALATABLE
EXTRA EXTRA!
YOUTH AFFLICTED BY ENDLESS WAR! - PHOTOGRAPHER FOUND WITH MACHETE WOUND TO SKULL, JOURNALIST SHOOTS HIMSELF WITH SHOTGUN, ARTIST JUMPS FROM WINDOW! GIRL OVERDOSES ON DESPAIR!
EXTRA EXTRA!
US SOLDIERS COLLECTING FINGERS FOR TROPHIES!
EXTRA EXTRA!
CHILDREN YOUNG AS 9 USED FOR SUICIDE BOMBINGS!
EXTRA EXTRA!
AMERICANS STRUGGLE TO NOTICE ENDLESS WAR AS CAUSE OF HEADACHE
EXTRA EXTRA!
FEW HUNDRED SHOW UP TO PROTEST BUT CAN'T MAKE CHANTS RHYME - OLD LADY HEARD WHISPERING: NO MORE WAR OR OCCUPATION: IRAQ, AFGHANISTAN, PAKISTAN, IRAN, PALESTINE, LIBYA, HAITI
EXTRA EXTRA!
OSAMA BIN LADEN KILLED - COLLEGE STUDENTS PARTY AS US FORCES CHASE THE ENEMY INTO THE SETTING SUN
John Daniel:
Plumose and Serrate,
Filiform and Lamellate,
Antennae for Sale.
Feelers, all I sell are feelers
Beautiful writhing feelers
Expand your mind today!
Feelers, all I sell are feelers
Segmented waving feelers
Come and buy today!
Coleopteran,
Hymenopteran,
Siphonopteran!
Hexapod, Diplopod, Arthropods all!
Aimee Baldwin:
Paper flowers, paper flowers, paper flowers
Roses, sweet-peas, posies too
Paper flowers made for you
Ignacio Zulueta:
(SUNG)
TWOOOOO DOLLAH DRAMAAAAA
TWOOOOO DOLLLAH DRAMAAAA
(SPOKEN)
STEP RIGHT UP AND GIMME A LINE
I’LL WRITE YOU A PLAY IN TEN MINUTE’S TIME
COMEDIES, TRAGEDIES, POEMS, FARCES
GIMME A LINE AND GET OFF YOUR ARSES
(SUNG)
AND BRING SOME CULTURE HOME TO YOUR MAMMA
BUY YOURSELF A TWO DOLLAR DRAMA!
Jaime Rosales:
Come get your stickers
One for you, one for your friend, one for everyone
Come get your stickers from me